Thank you god, for all the help. The wonderful people I have met, for all the things I have learn. For everywhere I go you open doors for me. I am one truly bless women. Whatever I touch you help me put the seed, so I can continue growing more. IM SO BLESS, I have never been happier, calmer, relax, in my life than now :D. THANK YOU SOOO SOOO MUCH!!
stronger than ever before
. I was a very positive yet very negative person with myself not very honest about my feelings or how I felt. I hid my pain, or the things that would make me mad. I justify all my hurt, Very insecure, I dislike myself. I didn’t believe in myself or my abilities, hurt, I felt like i wasn’t good enough, or never will be enough, compared myself to others. I try to shield behind because i was scared to get hurt more, I was lonely, i didn’t wanna get hurt by someone i loved. But I had tons of dreams and passion, a constant fight between myself because you can’t be a positive person when you dislike yourself and have so many negative things. When I was given red love I was color blind i couldn’t take it.
Now is different, I got my fire again but stronger. I feel like I am burning with dreams and faith. I have tons of things I gonna do and dreams that are coming true, I got my painting on shops, my photos on shows. I am so surprise when people ask me for photo shoots, or tutorial for drawing
I believe in myself a lot, I know that maybe I might fail but i try my best, I am very honest about my feelings now, I don;t wanna hide what i feel, i wanna express, I am not lonely at all, i have god, my family and my friends. and new friends I am making on my way. I have conquer many places already, while dancing at night at the park, sitting down on the back of a car, looking and counting stars, or going to soccer games chasing after soccer player, or running all over downtown for a photoshoot, or riding your bike in main street, while singing outloud, takin selfies at a busy rush and the people on the back making faces, learning new stuff from amazing photographer or supporting jeckpack,or staying sleeping at the beach, or getting on the biggest rollercoster, while beating everyone at air hockey, and racing a gtr. against a tesla. or almost getting in trouble for taking a photo, or getting attack by butterflies or being call becky, or pretending you are not from here, while your nephew is learning how to turn, while talking photos of expesive homes, or working on a new car shop, while eating at agora, or katz, or hitting a new concert at the blue or you ,making your own concert at the public hall of the museum while loving houston with your mother, while packing for a new journey, while being on the chase building in downtown toproof with a telescope with my friends with music, food and pillows,or going to car meets in dallas, while drinking some coffeee and leaving a new paint off I RATHER DO ALL THAT IN A MONTH than going clubbing or drinking
,I love my chunky self. Im unique, a darn goofball, that gravity is way too much for me. I make my own words haha! XD. I am like no other.
I have learn to forgive, and like them unconditional. Now i know that no matter how much or i wish i could hate i can’t I ain’t that kind of person. I don’t wanna be like that, i refused, I am the type of person that give chances, that gives the benefit of the doubt, i don’t judge people, because were they are now is not what they gonna be in a years from now. We are still are a process in the making, I might not agree with you but that doesn’t mean we can’t be friends, we might not be the same but we can still be friends as long as i know my faith and I don”t changed.
I can’t wait to fall in love with someone who will fill me more with fire, with passion. someone who will support my vision and me support his vision. Someone that want me to triumph and help me just as i want to support him everytime he feels he can’t. someone who isn’t afraid to ,make mistake but is willing to admit them . someone who had faith and believe, someone who can go on adventures with me, but also have lazy days. Someone who doesn’t care what people think about us being silly. Someone who can be a gentlemen, someone that i can trust, someone , i can be friend with, someone who i can fly with. so we can be a team.
I am not gonna lie, I was really mad a month ago and for the first time I wanted to hate, disappointment , anger, I shut every good out of me,. Start questioning so many things. But god is amazing, tons of things had happen to me. God is showing me, proving me wrong, showing me that he is amazing. When I fell on a deep hole when I couldn’t trust anyone, when I couldn’t see the good side of the story. when i was on denial. he came and prove me wrong. he send me someone (my boss) when I told him about my legal problem, he didn’t even ask twice, he told me “I wanna help you, you are an amazing young girl full of dreams and inspiration, I AM willing to help you and pay for your problem to get fix” I couldn’t stop shaking and crying. How could someone wanna help me? I try in soo many ways and fail so many times and now when i less believe, I get my answer. When i less believe in god, he prove me wrong, like joel osteen say on one of his preaches , god might wanna open your eyes since you don’t wanna believe in him , he might just show you and make you an example for other people to see.” How things happen are crazy. My best friend, the one that have the most faith, the one who is telling me about the bible, and i sit on her lap while she tells me stories, i love listening to her, because she is so passionate when she read it and it makes me happy and warm , well her faith started to shake, because her family were telling her things about science and how this and how that and answer me this, and how could this happen, she got attack. She called me on the phone telling me this asking me that, and i told her. I don’t believe in that, coz i believe in god. I have been prove wrong when i question myself about that, when i didn’t wanna believe in god. I have this happen, and she knows how long and hard i been fighting to get that fix, when i lost faith and didnt believe when i less expected i got my answer and i started explain about the preach that joel osteen told . “We grow more in faith when we are in our lowest, when we don’t believe, god might show us for us to be an example that we have to have faith, that were we are now it isn’t were we are meant to stay, that we are here for a BIG reason”.